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Aug 23

coaching really is about the relationship

Published by Claire Moody

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There are various types of coaching but the one I think I had the most significant lightbulb moment with was the relational coaching, I feel a huge and sometimes misunderstood area. 

Most coaches when questioning the coachee think they have to get to a solution, not so. There does not need to be a result; coaching is not about you the coach offering a solution. It is about listening and thinking about what comes up, then asking permission to share what you have sensed, noticed or felt.  How many of us focus on the language used? We always have an instinct or a feeling about something. But then how many of us choose to share this? Sadly, not many of us, in fact very few do. Even with your closest friends, you may notice something and still choose not to share it. This is the area that may need a change with; the coachee may need to think about something they want to do differently about the core problem.

The place for this to happen is the coaching room, the safe environment that a coaching room offers allows anything to be said; confidential and a safe environment for people. What is fascinating is when coachees talk, the language that comes out is never the problem. The onion that gets peeled back as you the coach starts to unravel the real problem. Sometimes this takes three or four sessions to get to. As a coach, you must stay patient, non-judgemental and allow the natural process to occur. As a coach, you guide the coachee, and this process is incredibly powerful and can be life-changing. 

Sometimes in a coaching situation, the silence will appear. As a coach you have to be disciplined to stay quiet, sometimes this is the most powerful time when something may pop up. And even further than that, you sit with the silence and just sit with not knowing. So much can be felt and heard when this process is happening, immensely powerful.  

Coaching can sometimes be thought of as the new trend, but there is a long history to it. It is about making sense of the chemistry and what is happening in the relationship.

Claire Moody is our head coach at Target Training and you can read more about her here.  She delivers training on coaching for managers courses, and you can read more about these courses here and see dates here.

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