Staying Calm When Everyone Else Needs an Answer

One thing I remember very clearly from my early RAF days is what it feels like when people are waiting for you to do something. There are situations where you don't have the luxury of disappearing for half an hour to think, which a lot of people do, people need something from you. Sometimes that's an answer, sometimes a decision and sometimes simply some clarity about what is happening next.

I think that's something leaders and managers sometimes underestimate. When things become difficult, your team aren't only listening to what you say. They're also taking information from your body language. They will notice if you look worried or whether you appear to be in control. They may question whether you know what you're doing but be afraid to actually ask. You may never hear any of those questions, but that doesn't mean people aren't asking them.

I learned this in a very different environment controlling fast jet aircraft, where situations could change extremely quickly and there were times when people needed information and direction from you. Communication was so important. Every message you gave to the aircrew, your assistant or anyone in the operations room had to be exactly clear. We were taught DRIPS very early: Diction, Rhythm, Intensity, Pitch and Speed. So, it wasn't just the message, but how you relayed it. 

All these years later, I see something very similar when I'm working with leaders and managers. Obviously, nobody has a fast jet waiting for an answer, but they do have people looking towards them, particularly when something has gone wrong, circumstances have changed or nobody is quite sure what is happening next.

And that's what I want to explore in this blog. Not how to remove pressure, because I don't think that's realistic. I'm much more interested in what the people around us need from their leader when the pressure increases.

In This Article You Will Learn

In this article, we'll look at what team’s need from leaders under pressure, how a manager's behaviour can affect the people around them, why communication becomes even more important during uncertainty and why leaders don't always need to have the complete answer.

We'll also look at something I think we sometimes overlook in leadership development: people aren't only experiencing the situation; they're experiencing us as well.

When People Look to the Leader

Think about what happens when something unexpected happens at work. Perhaps you lose a major client, a key member of staff leaves, a deadline suddenly moves, there's a significant mistake or a restructure is announced. What do people do? Quite often, they look towards the leader. Not necessarily because they expect that person to instantly solve everything, but because they want to understand what is happening. They are looking for clarity.

I think leaders sometimes put enormous pressure on themselves at this point because they believe they need to have all the answers. I'm not convinced they do. Sometimes people just need enough information to understand what happens next. Perfection can be an issue for many people.

There's a big difference between saying, “I don't know,” and saying, “I don't know yet, but this is what we know at the moment, this is what we're doing next and I'll update you when I know more.” Neither response contains the complete answer, but I think they can be experienced very differently.

This is communication. If there is nothing to say, say, “I have no further information at the moment, but I will update you when I do.” That's far clearer than silence. So many people get this wrong.

Your Behaviour Gives People Information

Communication isn't only about the words we use. We know that, but do we always remember it when we're under pressure? Body language and how people experience you are so important to be aware of.

People notice tone, pace, body language and consistency. They notice whether we're listening and whether we're really present in the conversation. If a manager suddenly becomes short with everybody, closes their door and stops communicating, people will make sense of that behaviour. They may make completely the wrong sense of it, but they'll still try. That's human behaviour. We often get it wrong because we interpret what we're seeing through our own thoughts, feelings and behaviours.

The leader may simply be trying to deal with a difficult situation, but someone in the team might be thinking, “What have I done?” Another might think there are redundancies coming, while somebody else may decide the manager has lost confidence in them. None of those things may be true, but if information is missing, we tend to fill in the gaps ourselves. And most people will look at the negative. 

It takes me back to DRIPS again: Diction, Rhythm, Intensity, Pitch and Speed. We were taught very early that communication wasn't simply about getting the words right. How you delivered them mattered as well. I think that's just as relevant to a manager having a difficult conversation today as it was to me speaking to aircrew all those years ago.

This is why I think communication becomes more important, not less, when pressure increases. You may not have all the answers, but silence communicates something as well.

Pressure Can Spread Through a Team

Have you ever walked into a room and immediately known something wasn't right? Nobody has told you anything, but you can feel it. I guarantee this happens to you; it happens all the time. I think pressure can work in much the same way.

One person rushing around, changing decisions, firing off messages and constantly asking for updates can very quickly change the atmosphere of a whole team. The interesting thing is that the manager might think they're being productive because they're getting things done, but what is happening to everybody else? Are people still thinking clearly or are they becoming anxious? Are they afraid to make a decision? Are they checking everything with the manager because they no longer know what they can decide for themselves?

This is where leadership under pressure becomes much more than an individual skill. Your behaviour can affect the performance of everybody around you. I think that's a very different way of looking at it. 

Calm Doesn't Mean Doing Nothing

I think we also need to be careful with the word calm. Being calm doesn't mean sitting back and watching everything happen around you.

In my RAF days there were situations where things were happening extremely quickly. Calm certainly didn't mean slow. You could be communicating quickly, processing information and taking action while still giving the people around you what they needed.

You can move quickly without creating panic and you can be assertive without becoming aggressive. You can create urgency without making everything chaotic. Sometimes leadership does require urgency; the question is whether your behaviour helps other people respond effectively or simply adds another layer of pressure.

For me, that's the difference. This does take time and can be trained into your behaviour. I know I had to learn this. Working slowly and deliberately is actually being smart. It doesn't mean you aren't dealing with the urgency; it means you're not allowing the urgency to control how you behave.

What Does Your Team Need From You Right Now?

This might be one of the most useful questions a leader can ask when things become difficult: What do the people around me actually need from me right now?

Because the answer won't always be the same. Sometimes they need a decision or clearer direction. Sometimes they need information, reassurance or simply somebody to listen. And sometimes they need you to get out of the way and let them do what they're perfectly capable of doing.

Leadership isn't about delivering the same response every time. This is something I see in coaching. We can become very attached to our preferred way of leading because it has worked for us before, but leadership isn't just about what comes naturally to us. It's also about recognising what the situation and the people involved require.

There are many different leadership styles. For me, it's about being able to work with them and not simply sitting in the area that suits you because that's where you're most comfortable. That takes awareness and judgement, and sometimes it takes the confidence to do less rather than more. 

Don't Fill Uncertainty With False Certainty

I think this is a really important one. Leaders don't always know the answer. I've written about this before because I think we put far too much pressure on leaders and managers to somehow know everything. They don't, and neither should they.

If a situation is genuinely uncertain, pretending otherwise doesn't necessarily make people feel safer. It can damage trust later if the information turns out to be wrong. I would much rather somebody tell me, “This is what I know, this is what I don't know, this is what we're doing and this is when I'll update you.”

For me, that's clarity. It isn't weakness; it's a strength.

Perhaps we need to become more comfortable with that in leadership. The best leaders I've worked with don't necessarily remove uncertainty; often, they help people navigate through it.

One of the interesting things about the Forces is that people generally sit in roles for two or three years and then move on. So over many years I experienced all sorts of leaders: good, great and weak. You learn something from all of them. Sometimes you learn what you want to take forward yourself and sometimes you learn what you definitely don't want to do.

People Need Something to Work With

If you don't have the final answer, what can you give people? Direction is one thing and priorities are another. You might not know exactly how a situation will end, but you can often tell people what matters today. That creates something to work with.

I think uncertainty becomes particularly difficult when people feel they have no control and no information. They start wondering, talking and assuming. We've all seen that happen. One conversation becomes another and before long somebody has heard from somebody else that something is happening when nobody actually knows. Good old Chinese whispers. 

This is why I think leaders sometimes need to communicate more during uncertainty, even when there isn't much new information. Simply saying, “There is nothing new to tell you today, but I'll update you again on Friday,” can be better than disappearing. You're giving people some certainty around the process, even if you can't yet give them certainty about the outcome.

That's an important difference, and so many get this wrong.

Coaching the Impact, Not Just the Individual

When I'm coaching leaders and managers, I'm obviously interested in what is happening for them, but I'm equally interested in what is happening around them. That's where some really interesting conversations begin. It's also why I think leaders and managers need to know basic coaching skills. 

If you become more controlling under pressure, what happens to your team? If you stop communicating, what happens? If you constantly change direction, what happens? If you start solving everybody's problems, what happens? And if you're clearly worried but telling everyone that everything is fine, what happens?

These aren't questions designed to criticise somebody. They're designed to create awareness because leadership doesn't happen in isolation. There's always an impact.

One question I ask is, “If I asked your team what you're like when the pressure goes up, what would they tell me?”

You Don't Have to Carry Everything Yourself

There is another side to this as well. Being the leader doesn't mean everybody has to wait for you. Under pressure some leaders start pulling decisions towards themselves, even when the team is perfectly capable of making them.

Be careful with this because you can unintentionally take confidence and responsibility away from people at exactly the time you need them to step up. Sometimes good leadership under pressure means being very clear about what needs to come to you and what doesn't.

It comes back again to that question: What does my team need from me right now?

Your Team Will Remember How You Led Through Difficult Times

I think people remember leaders particularly clearly when things haven't gone well. It's relatively easy to lead when the business is performing, everybody is happy and there are no significant problems. It's when things become uncertain that leadership becomes much more visible.

How did you communicate? Were you available? Did you listen? Were you honest? Did you disappear? Did you blame people? Did you pretend everything was fine? Did you create clarity where you could?

People remember those things. They may not remember every decision you made, but they often remember how it felt working with you during a difficult period. 

I suspect there could be some interesting answers.

Leadership Under Pressure Needs to Be Practised

Although this article isn't about training, I can't completely leave it out because it matters. One thing my RAF career taught me was that you don't want the first time somebody experiences pressure to be when it really matters. You practise, you train and you learn through doing things over, and over, again.

That's something we've always believed strongly in at Target Training Associates. Leadership development shouldn't simply be about sitting in a room learning models. People need to practise conversations, decisions and situations that aren't comfortable. They need feedback and they need to see the impact of what they do. We bring a lot of these areas into our training because they are essential skills.

Frequently Asked Questions

How should leaders manage teams under pressure?

Leaders can help teams under pressure by creating clarity, communicating consistently, setting priorities and explaining what is known and what remains uncertain. They don't always need to have every answer, but people generally need to understand what is happening next.

How can managers support employees under pressure?

Managers should first understand what their employees need. Some may need clearer direction, while others may need information, reassurance, additional support or simply the space and trust to get on with their work.

Why is communication important when leading under pressure?

When information is missing, people can make assumptions. Clear and regular communication can help employees understand what is happening, what is expected of them and when they will receive further information.

How can leaders create calm during uncertainty?

Creating calm doesn't mean pretending there isn't a problem. Leaders can provide clarity by explaining what they know, acknowledging what they don't know, setting immediate priorities and communicating what will happen next.

What does a team need from its leader during difficult situations?

There isn't one answer because teams and individuals are different. Depending on the situation, people may need direction, decisions, information, reassurance, listening, resources or the confidence to act for themselves.

How does a manager's behaviour affect team performance?

Managers influence the environment in which people work. Their communication, consistency and behaviour can affect confidence, decision-making and how comfortable people feel raising concerns or taking responsibility.

Knowing what good leadership looks like and actually demonstrating it when people are looking at you for an answer can be two very different things. 

One Final Thought...

When everybody is looking to you, I don't think they're necessarily expecting you to know everything. Sometimes they simply need to know that somebody is paying attention, somebody is thinking clearly and somebody will tell them what happens next.

That doesn't mean pretending you aren't feeling the pressure, having the perfect answer or carrying everything yourself. It means recognising that when you're leading other people, the pressure isn't only about you. Your team are experiencing it as well, and they're also experiencing you.

So perhaps the question isn't, “How calm am I under pressure?” Perhaps it's, “What do the people around me need from me when the pressure goes up?”

I think that's a much more interesting leadership question.

For more information on our Leadership and Management programmes or Coaching Services, contact Target Training Associates on 0800 302 9344 or visit our website