Coaching - Do you ever reflect on how someone greets you?
Whenever I coach, I have always kept a record on how I am greeted. It is interesting to observe what you notice by both the person who greets you and how you react by the greeting. Sometimes there are masses of energy, sometimes not, how does that affect you, what judgements do you create from this and how does this change you as a coach? What if you don't notice?
I find it interesting when someone runs towards you, what does that say. When the person is genuinely reaching out to you, who do you represent to them? Are you someone that they have never had before or you remind them of someone? I recently had a client who did this, and what was interesting was how I responded. This was a real child reacting to a parent, the role I probably played subconsciously, the fact I became the rescuer while this person was a victim. But how this made me feel and respond to how I responded to another client was different. Would I notice this as much if I did not reflect?
A different example and contrast are when I have felt a surge of energy run towards me, almost drowning me with enthusiasm. These are just two examples of the differences that I could have reacted massively different if I was not aware of. I noticed that I felt I wanted to question and listen differently. The way I am is always professional, but I did feel the differences and had to be careful not to show this in the sessions and stay fully present. It is essential to notice 'you' because this can create changes in the relationship that sits in the room.
I really would advise in doing this, really notice the reactions between you and your client even down to the tone in your voice and how you choose to guide the journey for the client.
Fascinating noticing 'you' but very important you separate what I would say is your own baggage, so you give your client 100% attention. Your world is different to the client, so in a coaching session, you must show nothing, so the client does not change with what they notice in you because they will but not be conscious like yourself as a coach.
Claire Moody is our head coach at Target Training, and you can read more about her here. She delivers training on all coaching and numerous training the trainer courses.