It is a fascinating experience reflecting on yourself and how you react in different situations with different people. What is even more fascinating is where it comes from.

Every one of us is unique, and exploration with our thoughts, feelings and behaviours is just the most incredible journey. I have had some amazing sessions with clients, and seriously the WOW factor has been incredibly rewarding.

The theory of Ego states Parent, Adult, and Child is such an incredible experience. Eric Berne combined intuition, ego states, behavioural cues (including body posture, tone of voice, movement) into a transactional analysis system.

Ego states are not real. They are metaphors that give a voice to different parts of our personality. A powerful discovery in coaching working through life scripts can seriously help relationships both professionally and personally. Organisations don't change, people do, and understanding people goes to another depth.

Those words when we were young, "It's rude to push", "Boys don't cry", little messages we receive from people from authority create our patterns and build our life script. How these play out is well worth exploring, and as mentioned, it helps our understandings of who we are and why we act the way we do. For example, we very quickly sabotage ourselves and exploring your life script enables you to understand why. The number of times I hear "I don't know why I do that" and "I don't know where that came from" are simple statements people make. Coaching creates that opportunity to explore this and is done in a safe environment that allows you to speak about your life in a confidential setting.

The exploration is unique and well worth doing. I believe everyone should go through the process because it helps you understand yourself. Once you do this, you can start making small changes if you choose to catch the moment when something triggers you.

Relationship coaching is No 1 for change in organisations. Exploring your life script helps all relationships. A simple question, to begin with, is to ask yourself, "What do I say about my life?" and "What do I believe about my life?" Compelling questions to start you at the beginning of your journey.

If you wish to know more about scripts and how coaching can help, email Claire at

Claire Moody is our head coach at Target Training, and you can read more about her here.  She delivers training on all personal development, coaching and numerous training the trainer courses.