Shame is a word that people prefer not to pay attention to; people prefer to keep it hidden. The problem is that it becomes much more powerful, staying silent.

The first question “What is shame to you”? Once you establish this you then need to ask yourself where does this come from, whose voices do you hear when shame creeps into my life.

Shame is everywhere, in all aspects of your life. Having a conversation with someone and apologising if you have to ask a question can make you feel ashamed, learning something new and feeling inadequate or not good enough creates shame, shame is huge.

You have to look at yourself and think about your own shame and if it shows up in your coaching. Shame will hold you back if you let it, again the key is to recognise it in yourself, and hopefully, you don’t project it onto others.

Think about what that inner critic tells you, your clumsy, not good enough; you are a failure, really think about those words that appear in your head. When do they appear, what would you like to do with them? I always say, get angry and push them away. If you don’t, they will hold you back.

Shame gets in the way of your self-worth, it is important to like yourself and tell yourself your O.K. Don’t let those voices from the past control you, they can be awful and unnecessary, you are better than that.

The majority of us live with shame through fear of feeling vulnerable. Nothing wrong with showing this, change can happen when you are honest with yourself.

The inner critic (that voice in your head) is common in most of us.  I have written a journal to help you silence it and you can read more about this available from Amazon here.

Claire Moody is our head coach at Target Training, and you can read more about her here.  She delivers training on all personal development, coaching and numerous training the trainer courses.