coaching blog - Is there something about you as a coach that invites someone in?
I thought I would follow on from the previous blog about why an individual has approached you. Is it out of choice, work has planted the suggestion that coaching may be a good idea or is it something about you that the individual feels comfortable with so they come to you.
When reading your reflection diaries, what informs you? What insight comes from your log. What patterns have you noticed in yourself and what does that trigger in you? There will be a voice in you that may need retraining, the voice that is so powerful. Deeper reflection helps you look for evidence in you to understand what may be seen, a pattern in you that offers some insight. Models offer insight, and you may offer different reactions depending on the coachee, deep reflection is needed to understand, really look at why.
Sometimes you may not be sure on what you do, you may have a strong feeling why, but where does that come from? Were you present in the conversation from the start, half present or entirely focused? Look for what may be missing in you and the coachees you meet. Something said or noticed may send a signal which may trigger something. Where is your energy, where do you get caught up, is it a safe environment? I feel deeper reflection needs more investment, give it time, spare the time; you will then fully understand why they have come to you.
Coaching with reflection and why you may get a strong feeling, where does that come from? You think you may be noticed but when you reflect deeper, you start to realise you have not been. You may have doubts, but why? Think about where you may get caught up and why to consider how much you get caught up. What was really going on, not what you think was going on? Sometimes you may feel how little you have done, are there patterns in this?
Finally reflect on how you have held the boundary, holding it. Did you sit with the information that was noticed, what world were you in, have you absorbed all the information and overall sitting with it. What opportunities have you possibly missed, and what choices have you made on the directions chosen. Even on a couple of questions or points made it is good to reflect and to recognise the choices in the path chosen. Never undervaluing any moments but a reflection on what they were and what they meant to you.
Unbelievable powerful deep reflection on a few minutes in a conversation is so worth doing, try it.
Claire Moody is our head coach at Target Training and you can read more about her here. She delivers training on coaching for managers courses, and you can read more about these courses here and see dates here.