How often do you walk away from work, frustrated and disappointed the day has not gone as planned? Do you ever reflect on the day and ask yourself what has happened through the day? What was good and what would you like to be different, what would you change. I think it is deeper than that when you look at the day.

Sometimes in our lives, we have such expectations, what we expect out of the day. The problem is we create such self-imposed rules on ourselves and our workplaces that all we do is build our own disappointment.  Our expectations versus realism are sometimes streets apart. We as human beings tend to focus on our frustrations from the day which can create negativity. This then gives the domino effect so that when we go home that we feel we have had such a rubbish day, affects us mentally.

Ask yourself three questions, the first how would I like the day to run, regardless of your professions, what is a perfect day. Then follow this with what were the limitations of the day, this can go in so many directions, really think about this. Then say to yourself 'How did my day go'.  Use a journal, write it down and really push your thinking, break the day down. Sometimes if you work through these three questions, you bring the expectations back into realism. This will improve your overall thinking about the day. Then you may go home reflecting on the day in a much more positive way and ready to go back the next with a slightly different mindset.

If your expectations are so different to the realism they can create negativity and will hinder your proactivity and motivation to go back for more, our self-imposed rules create problems because we can be very hard on ourselves. This, in the long run, can create problems with your health and your willingness to move forward, even for another day at work. We do create our own rules; only we hear that voice in our head telling us what the day should be like.

You can use these questions as they are such a fantastic cycle to separate the reality from expectations. You can use these personally in your life or work. Think about it, how do you manage, how do you supervise, how do you work, how do you think about your kids, it is so important to get the right balance?

Remember changes begin in mind, our own self-imposed rules need to be real to create the right belief systems and increase self-confidence. Coaching is fantastic for looking into these areas; coaching can create a different way of thinking and is the best place to work out our patterns. Changes begin in our minds, our minds with our own rules.

Claire Moody is our head coach at Target Training and you can read more about her here.  She delivers training on coaching for managers courses, and you can read more about these courses here and see dates here.