Coaching

Have you really noticed how quickly we create a story when we do not have all the information.

Think about it, someone does not respond to an email, so we assume they are ignoring us.

Someone is quiet in a meeting, we assume they are disengaged. Someone questions a decision, we assume they are being difficult. Someone misses a deadline, we assume they do not care.

It happens all the time.

The interesting thing is that we rarely describe these thoughts as assumptions. We begin treating them as facts, and that is where the problem starts.

An assumption can change our tone, our behaviour and the way we approach the next conversation. The other person then notices that change and responds to it. That wonderful Botari box model in full play.

Before long, a relationship can begin to deteriorate because of something that may never have been true in the first place.

Assumptions can be expensive. Not simply in terms of money, but in trust, confidence, performance and workplace relationships.

In

One thing that happens in communication is how two people can hear the same words and walk away with two completely different interpretations. People still don’t get this which always makes me smile.

The thing is one person leaves a conversation feeling supported, other leaves feeling criticised.

To go further one person hears a challenge, another hears a lack of trust.

Think about management styles one person believes the manager was being clear and direct, another believes they were being abrupt.

The words may have been the same!

What changed was the filter each person was listening through; we all have them.

They are of course shaped by our experiences, confidence, values, personality, previous relationships, successes, failures and, sometimes, the kind of day we are having.

I think sometimes how you feel is like the weather in the UK, every morning you have no idea what you may be waking up to.

Yet when communication goes wrong in the workplace, we often focus entirely on the words

There is one thing I have found myself saying more and more over the last few years.

It doesn't matter whether I'm delivering Leadership and Management, Train the Trainer, Coaching Skills or working one-to-on on all levels.

Every conversation comes back to people, it always does from every angle.

It’s not systems or policies. To add to that qualifications are never a thing it is always people.

When I reflect on my own career, from the RAF through to Target Training Associates, see our website. I realise that almost everything I've ever done has been about helping people understand themselves and, perhaps more importantly, understand other people. All under different labels which makes me smile.

Yet I find it fascinating that whilst organisations invest huge amounts of time developing technical knowledge, leadership skills and professional qualifications, very little time is spent helping people genuinely understand human behaviour.

For me, that's where the biggest opportunity sits.

In

We spend a huge amount of time developing people's skills, if you follow my blogs you will hear the same theme jumping out.

We send managers on courses, encourage people to gain qualifications, complete online learning and now, with AI, knowledge has never been easier to access.

All of that is important.

However, I sometimes wonder if we are putting too much emphasis on skills and not enough on judgement.

Over the years, I have worked with managers, leaders, trainers and coaches from a wide range of backgrounds. What I am very aware of is that two people can have exactly the same qualifications, attend the same training and have similar levels of experience, yet respond completely differently when faced with the same situation.

One person remains calm, asks good questions and makes a balanced decision.

The other reacts quickly, follows a process and hopes for the best.

The difference isn't usually knowledge, it's judgement. Obviously, there is a lot more to this, our wonderful brain and

One thing that has been recurring over the years, whether I have been coaching leaders and managers, quality assuring trainers or delivering leadership development, is that competence and confidence are not the same thing.

In reality, my experience is some of the most capable people I have worked with have been the least confident.

That might sound strange, but it is something I have seen time and time again.

People often assume that confidence naturally comes with experience. That if someone is knowledgeable, skilled and performs well, they will automatically believe in themselves.

The reality is often very different.

I have worked with individuals who have years of experience, recognised qualifications and exceptional technical ability, yet still question whether they are good enough. At the same time, I have met people with far less experience who appear incredibly confident.

It constantly reminds me that confidence is not always a reflection of competence.

I am sure many of you reading

I have never liked the phrase "soft skills."

The more I have worked with managers, leaders, trainers and coaches, the more I dislike it.

Why?

Because there is nothing soft about them. I have never liked the phrase because it has always been looked at as secondary to hard skills.

Think about it for a moment.

Is it easy to have a difficult conversation with someone who is underperforming or is it easy to build trust with a new team?

Is it easy to coach someone who lacks confidence or challenge someone who has stopped taking ownership? No not at all.

In my experience, these are often the hardest skills to learn and, more importantly, the hardest skills to do well.

I come from an era where they were never looked, it was all hard skills only. We definitely had it wrong.

Yet for years we have labelled them as soft, and still do!!

Personally, I think it is time we changed the conversation and everyone should get on board.

In This Article You Will Learn

In this article, we explore why communication,

The more managers, leaders and trainers I work with, the more I find myself asking this simple question.

Has leadership become too complicated?

Now before anyone thinks I have completely lost the plot, I am a huge supporter of leadership development. It is what we do every day. I have spent years supporting managers, delivering leadership programmes, coaching individuals and observing trainers and watch the transferable skills and guide, develop their own leadership style.

However, I sometimes wonder whether we have overcomplicated something that at its heart is quite simple.

Every day there seems to be a new model, a new theory, a new framework or a new expert telling us how leadership should be done. Add Artificial Intelligence into the mix and leaders now have more information available to them than ever before. This is a lot of information for anyone to digest, and everyone is trying to grab as much as possible.

Yet when I sit down with managers during coaching sessions or leadership

We all know getting promoted is exciting, you feel rewarded.

Most people work hard for years to reach that next step. It is often recognition for their expertise, commitment and ability to deliver results.

However, there is something I have observed time and time again through leadership development, coaching and working with managers across different sectors.

Nobody really tells you what happens next, the preparation seems non-existent.

People celebrate the promotion, but very few talk about the reality of stepping into management. The truth is that becoming a manager is often one of the biggest adjustments a person will make in their career. We were very fortunate in the Royal Air Force, with every rank came the skills needed to deliver in that rank.

Over a period of time, and lots of courses over many years you grew from the lowest level of management to the top.

The reality is the job changes with every role.

The expectations change.

And very quickly you realise that what made you successful

How many times have we witnessed this, it happens in organisations every day.

Someone performs exceptionally well in their role, a highflyer as we always call them.

They consistently achieve results, solve problems and are recognised as one of the strongest members of the team.

The next logical step seems obvious.

Promote them into management…

Yet this is often where the challenges begin.

One of the biggest mistakes organisations make is assuming that being excellent at a job automatically means someone will be excellent at leading people.

The reality is that the skills required to perform a role and the skills required to lead others are often very different. Most find out afterwards and not before which is a huge issue.

In This Article You Will Learn

In this article, we explore why great performers sometimes struggle when promoted into management, what organisations often overlook and how leadership development can help bridge the gap.

Success in a Role Does Not Automatically Create Leadership

Look we all know Artificial Intelligence is changing the way we work, I have written a series of blogs. It is constantly all over LinkedIn.

From writing reports and analysing data to supporting decision-making and development planning, AI is becoming part of everyday working life.

Many organisations are exploring how AI can improve efficiency, reduce costs and increase productivity. To the point Madrid now has an AI hospital, yep that is happening.

At the same time, leaders are beginning to ask an important question:

What happens to leadership in an AI-driven world?

For some, there is concern that technology will replace many of the skills currently associated with leadership and management.

I personally believe the opposite may be true.

The future of leadership is likely to become more human, not less.

In This Article You Will Learn

In this article, we explore how AI is changing the workplace, which leadership skills are becoming increasingly important and why human judgement, emotional